Boosting Children's Self Esteem and Self Acceptance

We live in a society where there is an expectation for adolescents to have a 'positive self-esteem' as opposed to a 'negative self-esteem'.
Unfortunately too many of us use these terms flippantly without having a real understanding of what exactly we mean.

Self-esteem is the value you put on yourself and 'how important you think you are'.
It is the view that we have of ourselves, whether that is positive or negative. Too many of us think that we must have high self-esteem in order to be more confident, happy and successful.

Thus, if we have low self-esteem we may feel less confident and motivated. However, success and happiness is also about doing the things that are important to you and living a rich and full meaningful life.
I prefer to use the term self-acceptance to self-esteem. Self-acceptance means being okay with who you are now, irrespective of the negative and critical thoughts that come into your mind.

It is an agreement with yourself to learn to appreciate, validate and accept who you are in the present moment, even parts of yourself that you may like to change. Many teenagers struggle with this because of the many pressures they face by others and themselves to be perfect. One of the very key strategies that parents can take to help boost their child's self-acceptance is to reinforce and validate to them that there is no such thing as being perfect. Teenagers need encouragement to learn that they will always have bad days and good days, low feelings and high feelings, critical thoughts and optimistic thoughts, but irrespective of what these thoughts and feelings may be, it does not change who they are. To say that they should always think positively and not think negatively about themselves would be an unrealistic expectation.
Parents can help boost their child's self-acceptance by helping them explore their values - the things that are meaningful and important to them. If teenagers have a clear picture of their values, than taking committed action to live their life based on these values becomes much easier for them. They will always have days where their inner critic will be negative.

If teenagers are always trying to prove to themselves that they are a good person, they are worthy, and should be happy, then it is going to be a continuous battle.

Learning to be okay with yourself, including the great, good, bad and ugly, is one of the keys to letting go of this battle.

Continuously trying to maintain a high level of self-esteem can actually pull them away from the things that are most important to them, their values. For adolescents to learn and accept themselves for who they are, with no judgment, may take time.
For them to let their thoughts come and go without a struggle and realise that they do not define them, will take time.
In the meantime, parents can help their children realise their many wonderful strengths and qualities, as well as the things that are meaningful and important to them.